Could someone explain to me how guys minds work?

Could someone explain to me how guys minds work?

I may be superhuman, but I’m definitely not capable of understanding the way guys think.  I thought I was, and to be quite honest, I thought I was better than most girls, on account of, not only do I have some good friends who are guys, but I also tend to be a little bit more capable of observing them than most girls.  I mean, its not something I do often, but I have looked into the guy’s locker room, and I also tend to hear things that other girls can’t sometimes.  None of that makes me understand how they work, though, and sometimes it can be really frustrating.

Ted is the perfect example.  He’s not exactly what you’d call a hunk, but the guy is seriously sweet, absolutely brilliant and not at all hung up on himself.  I guess you’d call him a geek, cause he does the whole glasses, pocket protector and chess club thing, but he’s also seriously interesting to talk to.  I’ve known Ted for like ages, and we even played together when we were kids and stuff, but the whole puberty thing kind of put this wall between us and I’d just about given up on hanging out together when he started acting all funny around me a couple of years ago.

Then, this morning, he blew me away.  I was just minding my own business in chemistry class when the teacher announced that we had to have partners for her latest experiment, and up out of the blue pops Ted, grinning and telling me he thinks we’d make a great team.  Me?  Ok,  granted I expected I’d end up with a guy for a partner, given the girls in the class, none of whom I’d consider exactly a friend, but I didn’t expect Ted to be the dumbass with a hardon who was willing to risk his grades by choosing me as his partner.  I’m not only a klutz, but I’m also not exactly what you’d call a brain.  I suck at science, and often have to have things explained to me like dozens of times.  Ted knew that as well as I did, so right off the bat, I knew his line about us being a great team was absolute horse shit.

Of course, I may not be a brain surgeon, but I’m not stupid.  Ted was sporting a serious boner, so if it was anyone else, I’d at least have been able to chalk up his sudden interest in me for hormones.  Only thing is, this was Ted, and the idea of Ted trying to get in my pants was like way beyond what I could imagine.  Ted didn’t make moves on girls, not even the girls who threw themselves at him, which I got to tell you, there have been a few.  The guy’s not exactly Joe stud, but anyone with any sense knows he’s gonna make a mint someday.  I know for a fact that Cecilia joined the chess club just to impress him, and she’s not the only one, either.  There’s like a whole gaggle of girl-nerds who’d drop their shorts for him in a split second, if he asked.

I’m sort of an outsider in school.  Most of the popular girls won’t have anything to do with me, and while the guys in that group sort of sniff around, the socially savvy ones figure out that I’m like poison as far as the popular girls go.  The nerds are sort of a different story, although it’s a bit more complicated.  I try real hard to keep up with some of them, but its not like I’m gonna ever make a debate team or be able to keep up with any of the science clubs or anything.  As much as I hang out with anyone, I sort of hang out with them, though, on account of they’re a lot less likely to make fun of me being not so bright, and, because as long as I don’t dress like an absolute tramp or pay too much attention to the guys when  they act goofy, some of the geeky girls are more tolerant.  It gets weird sometimes, but I’ve got some girlfriends among them, sort of anyway, and a couple of them even know things about me that no one else does.

Cecilia isn’t exactly in my inner circle, but she’s friends with some of them, and Ted’s sudden move made sort of freaked me out.  In general, I turn guys who are friends or even friends of friends down flat, cause I don’t need the trouble.  I’ve gone out with a few of the older guys, but if there’s like ANY connection with my friends, protecting my secret identity, and preserving my sanity and my friends makes me run like hell.  But Ted, for all his skinniness, his awkwardness, I’d always thought Ted was seriously cute and he’s just the kind of guy who NEVER seems to ask me out.  

So I was like seriously nervous when we started going through the details of the project, on account of I really was sort of hoping he might, and yet at the same time, I was dreading how it all might come down.   Of course, that only made it harder to follow the instructions, and when the fire started, I was like completely oblivious.

When Jessica screamed, instead of looking at the notebook in front of me catching on fire, I turned to see what in the blazes she was looking at, which gave the fire time to catch to my blouse.  Ted, god bless him, was like a knight in shining armor, although a seriously dorky one with all the wrong sort of weapons.  He grabbed my upper arm and at the same time started batting at the flames with his other hand.

As hairy as that was, things got even freakier when I got sent down to the nurse on account of the teacher was sure I must have serious burns or something, because my wrist was all black.  I avoid the school nurse like the plague, much like I avoid doctors of any sort, so it wasn’t like she knew me from Adam.  And the woman was like seriously freaked out when I showed her I wasn’t hurt.  After what seemed like an eternity, I finally convinced her to just send a note home to my parents, but by the time I got out of the nurse’s office, it was lunch time.

The minute I walked into the cafeteria,  I got the glares from a whole table full of girls, including Cecilia.  I did my best not to antagonize them, got through the line and headed over to the far side of the room just as Nicki Noriega came over to me.

“I can’t believe you did that…” Nicki said, grabbing me by the arm and all but shoving me into a seat.  “Cecilia’s going to make your life hell, girl.”

“Did what?” I asked in confusion.

“Don’t play stupid with me, Daphne.  Ronnie told me the whole story, about how you caught your blouse on fire just to get Ted, and she told Cecilia, too.”

I blinked, not quite certain what was going on, not to mention why Nicki Noriega, who dressed like a biker chick and hung out with the druggies was suddenly throwing herself into this mess.

“I didn’t, I didn’t catch myself on fire on purpose…” I blurted out, but Nicki cut me off.

”It doesn’t matter, Daphne, because not only does Cecilia think you did, but coincidentally, Ted just told Cecilia he didn’t want to be her debate partner anymore.  Dropped her like a hot potato.”

“I…..” I stammered, but Nicki stood up then and cut me off.

“Listen, Daph.  You and I, I know we’re not exactly buds, but Cecilia Smith is one class A bitch, and I know how she can spread rumors.”

“What sort of….?” I began, but Nicki was gone by then, back to her circle of friends.

Lo and behold, just then, with Cecilia and her gang still shooting mean looks at me, Ted came up and sat down right next to me.

“Are you ok, Daph?” he said reaching for my arm.

Instinctively, I started to draw it back, but once he got a grip, I relaxed and let him see it was all ok.

“Yeah, um, I’m fine, Ted.  Just, um a klutz is all.  See, the black stuff washed off.”

Ted smiled and my heart started pumping.

“Good, Daph.  I was worried about you.  Uh, listen, I was kind of thinking, maybe we ought to work on the experiment stuff after school.”

I shook my head, but before I could blurt out about basketball practice, Ted was moving on.

“Or better yet, how about Friday night.  My big brother’s having a party out by the pool, lots of his college friends and all, and we could relax some and then I’ll explain the rest of the project to you then.”

My eyes widened, and I barely managed to get the words out.

“A pool party?” I said, suddenly realizing what that meant.  “I don’t I mean.. I don’t..”

“Don’t what, Daphne?” Ted said grinning, although it was a very strange sort of grin and his voice sort of quivered.  “Don’t want to work on the project or don’t want to be with me?”

He had me there, got me right where it hurted with that combination of suaveness and vulnerability as he expected me to reject him.  I bit into the meal he’d offered me with my mouth wide open.

“No, Ted, that’s not it, really, its just, um, its Cecilia. Why….”

“Cecilia?” Ted exclaimed, but before I could explain, he had it all figured out.  I told you he was smart didn’t I?

“Cecilia is a bitch” Ted said as he leaned over, “and if you’re smart, you won’t worry about her.  I couldn’t deal with her anymore as a debate partner, not because she’s not good, but because she’s, well, she’s just plain mean.  I’m talking about you, me, a party full of college kids, and …”

He leaned over even closer and I got lost in those eyes of his, even through his glasses.

“Listen Daph.  We’re not tight like we used to be, and I regret that, but I’m asking for you to do me a favor.  I need a date to the party, Daphne, and I’d rather it be you than anyone else.”

“Why?” I stammered.

He smiled.

“Because, I like you Daphne.  Is that good enough?”

“Um…” I began, “no, not um if….”

“Chill, Daph” he said grinning.  “Ok, I do want to have a hot chick on my arm just to get my brother off my back, but  you’re not.. I mean, I can talk to you.  We can have fun with it at the same time.  If you don’t, if you don’t want it to….”

Finally I got up the nerve to speak up, really speak up, before he said what I knew he was going to say.  

“I’ll go, Ted” I said smiling, “if you promise to stop giving me that look..”

“What look?” he said.

“The little hurt puppy look…. It makes me feel like a real bitch, like I ….”

“Then I’ll smile, Daph” he said grinning.  “We’ll have fun, and if the party’s lame we can skip out or whatever.  As long as I make an appearance, I don’t care, and I really do want to spend time with you.”

By the time the bell rang, I was on cloud nine.  Could it really be happening?  Did Ted really ask me out, not just because he thought he could get lucky with me, but because he actually liked me?  I hoped so, I know I really wanted that, and Ted was, well, I’ll be quite honest with you, I didn’t at all mind the idea of making out with Ted.  If I thought, well, if it was possible to go all the way with a guy, while he might not be the most physically imposing sort of guy, I’d put Ted up at the top of the list.

The rest of the day went by, but I was pretty much on cloud nine.