Much Ado about Nothing

I’d planned on confronting Ted today.  In fact, I’d sort of begun to work it all out in my head, how I’d do it I mean.  But sometimes things like that don’t work out, and today was one of them.  Sunday mornings my dad plays golf and Mom usually goes out to breakfast with some of her friends, so I was just hanging out in front of the TV, sipping a diet coke and channel surfing.  Why diet?  Not because I’m worried about calories or sugar, really, but because I actually like it better and because its like the only thing I could find in the frig.

Anyways, I’d just about despaired of finding anything worth watching when I noticed the light blinking on the machine.  No big deal, right.  I mean no one ever calls me on the land line, its always  for my parents.  My cell phone is my life line, really, and I don’t think I’ve even picked up the home phone in years.   But that light kept blinking at me, and eventually, I went over to the machine and listened.

The third message was from yesterday morning, and yeah, it was Ted.

“Daph… its me, Ted.  Uh, I know you’re probably off somewhere, but I wanted to tell you, um, I really had a great time last night.  Really, I know it was kind of weird and all with my brother’s friends and stuff, but it was really awesome to be with you.  Uh, I’d like to talk, Daph.  My cell phone number is …….”

It took me an eternity to put my jaw back in place, but once I did and got my thoughts together, I cleared the stairs in less than a second and swapped my nightshirt out for a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and took my time getting into a pair of running shoes as I debated, and then finally decided to take the t-shirt back off and slip into a sports bra.  The t-shirt went back on, as did a fanny pack for my cell phone and keys and I headed over for Ted’s house, jogging at a pretty leisurely pace so’s to get my thoughts together.

Ted’s brother was in the kitchen with a couple of his friends, and a quick scan of Ted’s bedroom revealed he wasn’t there.  After another minute or so, I spotted him out  by the pool, lying on a lawn chair next to.. you guessed it, that skinny chick I’d seen him with the night before.  I was cool, not mad, but cool as I walked around to the side of the house, hopped over the gate and walked back to the pool.

Ted looked up and his eyes got wide immediately.  I, on the other hand was cool as a cucumber, and all together.

“Heya Ted” I said, flashing him a grin even as I turned to face my nemesis, letting my grin stay there.  “I don’t think we’ve met.  I’m Daphne.”

I expected awkward, or maybe just friendly, or I don’t know what.  But not at all what I got when the girl, jumped up and charged me, grabbing me by the hand and hugging me.

“Daphne, I’m sooo glad to meet you.  Ted’s told me all about you, and I’ve been dying to meet you.”

My dazed and confused look didn’t seem to stop the girl, but Ted must have caught it, because he was up in a flash.

“Daphne, meet Lisa.  Lisa, Daphne.   Lisa’s .. uh.. well’s sort of hard to explain.”

I guess Lisa figured something was odd when I turned to face Ted just a bit too fast to seem natural.  

“I bet…” I said, but Lisa’s laugh cut me off and I twisted my head back to catch her grinning as she stepped over to the ice bucket.  I decided to ignore her, for the moment and turned back to Ted, putting my hand on my hip as I covertly glanced at his crotch and then noticed the sweat on his forehead.

  Ted was, well, there were some really great things about his tall and slender body if I’d cared to think about them, but at the moment, I didn’t.  I was really studying him, trying to figure out just how much of that sweat was from the sun, how fast his heart was beating, that sort of stuff.  It was my bud Mendel’s idea, really, that if I figured out how to read the signs, I could probably learn stuff from them, but, well quite frankly, I haven’t yet figured out how to tell if a guy’s lying to me.  Ted was nervous, but I couldn’t tell why.

“I thought you knew about Lisa…” Ted said finally, when my stare probably went on too long.  I’d actually been debating trying to make him sweat with a little heat vision, but I’m not all that good about controlling it and didn’t want to kill him, at least yet.

“No, Ted. I didn’t” I said.  “You honestly thought, what, that I wouldn’t care?  I got it,
Ted, or I guess I do now.  Only, how come Lisa couldn’t be your little arm candy?”

Lisa giggled behind me, but Ted didn’t respond at first.  He actually looked scared and I could hear his heart thumping aster, and that’s kind of weird, because I hadn’t touched him yet.  Still that told me a lot.

I waited, and then when I got tired of waiting, covered the few feet between us in a blur and tapped Ted back down onto the chair with a fingertip.  He let out a loud groan as he slammed into it and I stepped over, trying to think of how I’d tell him off.

Lisa rescued him before I could get a word out, though.

“No offense, Daphne, but one, he’s not my type, and two, I thought his little plan was about the stupidest thing I’d ever heard, even from him.  Seeing you, though, I see why he tried it.”

That made me grin, but I was still pretty pissed when I turned back to Lisa.

“Besides,” she said grinning, “I think it might be a little gross to have his stepsister pretending to be his girlfriend, don’t you?”

Ok, right then and there, I was pretty much floored and must have turned beet red as Lisa handed me a glass of lemonade.

“I can loan you a suit, Daphne if you want to hang out” she said, obviously still amused, but at the same time, being friendly enough.

I did take the suit, which didn’t exactly fit, and eventually ended up putting my t-shirt back on over it when it became obvious that I couldn’t expect to have a decent conversation with either of them without it.

I spent the afternoon out by the pool, talking with Ted and getting to know Lisa.  After while, Fred and a couple of his friends came out too, and it was pretty cool.  In case you’re wondering, I did not kiss Ted goodbye and, apart from that one time, never even touched him.  I did give him my cell phone number though.