A New Guy in my Life

Ok, well maybe he's not exactly in my life, but he is in the neighborhood, and I really wish he was. Actually maybe I don't, but I wish he could be anyway, like if things were different.

Thing is, he's like way out of my reach for a couple of reasons. One, he's got to be like thirty years old, and two, he's married. Yeah, I know, its awful to be thinking about married men, but I am just thinking. His wife, the rotten bitch, is really nice too. I mean seriously, this guy is gorgeous and nice and everybody loves him. Even my mom said he's cute, and she's pretty picky.

Its kind of funny, how when a new guy moves into the neighborhood, especially during the summer time, the girls start popping out of the woodwork. I saw him first, and I kept my cool, but like by the end of the day when they were moving in, Bitsy and Betsy, they're twin cheerleaders who live a couple of houses down, just happened to come by with a housewarming present.

I hope he saw through those twits, but unfortunately, he may not have. His car was sparkling clean this afternoon, which is a little suspicious since the cheerleaders carwash happened to be today. This is arousing my suspicions. I'm thinking that it just may be that John the Hunk and his innocent wife may be getting taken in by the evil pom pom twins. It could even be a job for the Babe of Bronze.

I may be overreacting, but just to be on the safe side, I've been keeping an extra eye on him with my X-ray vision every once in a while. And, if I can think of a decent excuse, I might even go over and see if there's any subtle signs of brain damage or something. I mean, somebody's got to look out for helpless good looking guys and save them from vicious teenage vixens, right? I'm seriously doing good here, right?