Dastardly Evil Munchkins are taking over my world
Its not exactly superheroine type stuff, but I had a pretty weird experience this afternoon which I sort of wanted to write about. There's a girl named Alice who lives a couple of doors down, and I babysit sometimes for her and her friends. Its no big deal because I live so close and I've known her like all her life, and for some completely unknown reason, her mom has always trusted me. Unlike some of the other girls in the neighborhood, I guess, I don't bring guys over, and its usually pretty easy, especially during the day, because they have this really cool pool. Honestly, in afternoons at their age, they'd don't really need a babysitter, but since I got my lifeguard training, it makes her mom feel better for me to be around when they swim. Alice's dad likes it too, but that's another story.
So, on a beautiful sunny day, I'm supposed to watch two twelve year old girls for a couple of hours in the afternoon by the pool. No problem. Well, in some ways, it wasn't, but in others, it was no cake walk. First off, I should tell you that Alice is really smart, and we're tight, or as tight as I think we can be, given the age difference and, um, well, my differences. So the thing is, even though I'm like "in charge", its not like I pretend I'm her mom or anything, and sometimes we talk, like about stuff that she's interested in, even though some of it was way over my head when I was her age. Her friend Janet I like too, but I hadn't quite banked on what would happen when the two of them put their heads together.
We were lying in the sun, catching rays and drinking lemonade and talking about all sorts of stuff. With those two, I generally don't say a whole lot and let them talk, and when I need to pipe in, I do. Somehow (and no, it was not me), the topic of boys came up, and a particular 14 year old who both girls seemed to agree was totally hot became the subject of their fascination. He's an nice kid, I think, and although fourteen year old boys are definitely not the sort of people I spend a lot of time with, his big sister is my age, and, given the pathetic things guys that age go through, I sort of liked him. To Alice and Janet though, he was like some sort of major stud, and the two of them were agonizing over him like you wouldn't believe.
Honestly, I was starting to fade out, watching some couple trying to join the mile high club in an airliner overhead, when out of the blue, Alice blurted out.
"Daphne, what's Rick doing right now."
I turned my head, spotted him in his room in the house next door, and without thinking, answered.
"He's watching a basketball game with some other kid."
Neither Alice nor Janet called me on my slip up, exactly, but the way they sat up and looked at me, I felt like I'd been cornered by a couple of prepubescent predators.
"Nice, Daph" Alice said grinning.
Janet, the little bitch, started it.
"You know Daphne, word out on the street is that he's got a major thing for you. And I hear that's why you don't hang with Jennifer anymore, cause he's like after you."
"What?" I said, sitting up. "That's got, like nothing to do with it."
"Course, it could be Jennifer's fed up with you, you know."
"What ?" I said sitting up. "What are you talking about?"
"Its OK, Daphne" Alice replied and then turned to Janet. "Don't pick on her Janet. She can't help it."
OK, from here on out, I'm just not going to go through the whole conversation word for word. Recounting it is humiliating for me, and honestly, I don't remember half of the specifics of what was said, because I was way out of my league, completely on the defensive and being subtly manipulated by the two of them. Even though they never said it exactly, I could tell that they knew I sometimes saw things other people couldn't, and they used that, together with my insecurities, to prep me. That last part I figured out later. I swear, its like they were softening me up, getting ready to pounce. Mostly, Janet was attacking and Alice was playing the good cop sort of thing, but really, it was way more subtle, and I swear, impossible to resist.
By the time they got to it, I was utterly and completely defenseless. They'd never quite said it, but it was like they'd made me sure they knew that I was a complete fraud, and that they could destroy me if they wanted, but that they wouldn't, because they were so nice. It galls me to just think about it, but honestly, they had me ready to do anything for them. And true to form, what they asked for, it wasn't like it was so horrible sounding or awful that I would have woken up to what they were doing. No, they just made it sound like a favor I could do for them that wouldn't do any harm, and if I did it, maybe just maybe, they'd still like me in spite of all my faults.
Little stinkers. I'm now going to spend my Saturday night babysitting not just for Janet and Alice, but for half the kids in the neighborhood. "A little pool party, and Mom and Dad said fine," they said. Only they knew damn well that the "older" guys would come if I was supposed to be the lifeguard. Older meaning older than them, but still three years younger than me. It may sound ridiculous to you, but trust me, I got superhearing and X-ray vision. I know some of what the guys in my neighborhood think about me in a swimsuit, and I even know ... well, never mind. That's gross, ok, but the point is, I'm not imagining it and I'm not some snooty conceited bitch either. NOBODY really wants that kind of attention from guys that age, but unfortunately, I'd sort of grown up with them, and there wasn't much I could do about it now.
Its not THAT big of a deal, like one Friday night, but still, I feel like I've been pimped out by two twelve year old girls. I swear, I think they think they own me.
And yeah, it gets worse. I got duped, right, manipulated by a couple of kids into luring over guys who probably didn't even know that they existed and are going to spend the whole time staring at me, when they're not . But what's really worse was, that in order to satisfy Alice's parents that it was safe, I was going to have to recruit a friend to help me.
When I told Lauren, she ripped me a new one before making me practically beg her to do it with me. And yes, when she demanded to know how I got talked into it, she made me go through it ALL. Lauren's the best friend I've got, I think, though, and she didn't rub it in too much. Still, I am sort of glad that she's going to have to sit through that thing too. And you know what, I don't think that Lauren even OWNS a one piece suit. If I'm gonna have to spend an evening getting stared at by horny fourteen year old guys who're too embarassed to get out of the water, at least I'm not going to be the only one.
So, on a beautiful sunny day, I'm supposed to watch two twelve year old girls for a couple of hours in the afternoon by the pool. No problem. Well, in some ways, it wasn't, but in others, it was no cake walk. First off, I should tell you that Alice is really smart, and we're tight, or as tight as I think we can be, given the age difference and, um, well, my differences. So the thing is, even though I'm like "in charge", its not like I pretend I'm her mom or anything, and sometimes we talk, like about stuff that she's interested in, even though some of it was way over my head when I was her age. Her friend Janet I like too, but I hadn't quite banked on what would happen when the two of them put their heads together.
We were lying in the sun, catching rays and drinking lemonade and talking about all sorts of stuff. With those two, I generally don't say a whole lot and let them talk, and when I need to pipe in, I do. Somehow (and no, it was not me), the topic of boys came up, and a particular 14 year old who both girls seemed to agree was totally hot became the subject of their fascination. He's an nice kid, I think, and although fourteen year old boys are definitely not the sort of people I spend a lot of time with, his big sister is my age, and, given the pathetic things guys that age go through, I sort of liked him. To Alice and Janet though, he was like some sort of major stud, and the two of them were agonizing over him like you wouldn't believe.
Honestly, I was starting to fade out, watching some couple trying to join the mile high club in an airliner overhead, when out of the blue, Alice blurted out.
"Daphne, what's Rick doing right now."
I turned my head, spotted him in his room in the house next door, and without thinking, answered.
"He's watching a basketball game with some other kid."
Neither Alice nor Janet called me on my slip up, exactly, but the way they sat up and looked at me, I felt like I'd been cornered by a couple of prepubescent predators.
"Nice, Daph" Alice said grinning.
Janet, the little bitch, started it.
"You know Daphne, word out on the street is that he's got a major thing for you. And I hear that's why you don't hang with Jennifer anymore, cause he's like after you."
"What?" I said, sitting up. "That's got, like nothing to do with it."
"Course, it could be Jennifer's fed up with you, you know."
"What ?" I said sitting up. "What are you talking about?"
"Its OK, Daphne" Alice replied and then turned to Janet. "Don't pick on her Janet. She can't help it."
OK, from here on out, I'm just not going to go through the whole conversation word for word. Recounting it is humiliating for me, and honestly, I don't remember half of the specifics of what was said, because I was way out of my league, completely on the defensive and being subtly manipulated by the two of them. Even though they never said it exactly, I could tell that they knew I sometimes saw things other people couldn't, and they used that, together with my insecurities, to prep me. That last part I figured out later. I swear, its like they were softening me up, getting ready to pounce. Mostly, Janet was attacking and Alice was playing the good cop sort of thing, but really, it was way more subtle, and I swear, impossible to resist.
By the time they got to it, I was utterly and completely defenseless. They'd never quite said it, but it was like they'd made me sure they knew that I was a complete fraud, and that they could destroy me if they wanted, but that they wouldn't, because they were so nice. It galls me to just think about it, but honestly, they had me ready to do anything for them. And true to form, what they asked for, it wasn't like it was so horrible sounding or awful that I would have woken up to what they were doing. No, they just made it sound like a favor I could do for them that wouldn't do any harm, and if I did it, maybe just maybe, they'd still like me in spite of all my faults.
Little stinkers. I'm now going to spend my Saturday night babysitting not just for Janet and Alice, but for half the kids in the neighborhood. "A little pool party, and Mom and Dad said fine," they said. Only they knew damn well that the "older" guys would come if I was supposed to be the lifeguard. Older meaning older than them, but still three years younger than me. It may sound ridiculous to you, but trust me, I got superhearing and X-ray vision. I know some of what the guys in my neighborhood think about me in a swimsuit, and I even know ... well, never mind. That's gross, ok, but the point is, I'm not imagining it and I'm not some snooty conceited bitch either. NOBODY really wants that kind of attention from guys that age, but unfortunately, I'd sort of grown up with them, and there wasn't much I could do about it now.
Its not THAT big of a deal, like one Friday night, but still, I feel like I've been pimped out by two twelve year old girls. I swear, I think they think they own me.
And yeah, it gets worse. I got duped, right, manipulated by a couple of kids into luring over guys who probably didn't even know that they existed and are going to spend the whole time staring at me, when they're not . But what's really worse was, that in order to satisfy Alice's parents that it was safe, I was going to have to recruit a friend to help me.
When I told Lauren, she ripped me a new one before making me practically beg her to do it with me. And yes, when she demanded to know how I got talked into it, she made me go through it ALL. Lauren's the best friend I've got, I think, though, and she didn't rub it in too much. Still, I am sort of glad that she's going to have to sit through that thing too. And you know what, I don't think that Lauren even OWNS a one piece suit. If I'm gonna have to spend an evening getting stared at by horny fourteen year old guys who're too embarassed to get out of the water, at least I'm not going to be the only one.
posted by Daphne @ 2:53 PM
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